The History of Sex in Nigeria: 1960–2050

Flashback:

The year is 1960; October 1960; 1st of October 1960.

The country, Nigeria, has recently gained independence with a population of 50 million, making it the most populated black nation on Earth, a position it has never lost since then.

The moral lesson: Consistency is key to maintaining success

Today in History:

The year is 2019; May 2019.

Recent stats show that Nigeria has finally hit the 200 million mark.

1960 – 2020 roughly; that’s 60 years.

From 50 million to 200 million; that’s a difference of 150 million.

60 years; 150 million.

1 year; 2.5 million

In plain English, we’ve added an average of 2.5 million people every year since independence. Good job, Dad.

Time Travel:

The year is 2050; month unstated

Stats show that Nigeria has a population of 500 million; half a billion people

2020 – 2050; that’s 30 years

From 200 million to 500 million; that’s a difference of 300 million.

30 years; 300 million

1 year; 10 million

In other words, we’ll be adding 10 million people every year for the next 30 years to hit our unconscious and generally accepted population goals.

It took our parent and grandparents to 60 years to add 150 million to the face of the earth.

We’ll be proving to them that we can do better. The millennials and Generation Z of Nigeria will need only 30 years to add 300 million. We should be proud of ourselves in advance.

I find this fascinating, and I think you should too;

Why? Our generation is more outwardly religious than our parents were. We’re the generation of mega-churches blocking highways every last Friday of the month. Then we spend the next three Fridays committing enough ‘sins’ to deserve a second edition of the erotic classic, ‘Kama Sutra’

On the other hand, we’re more corrupt than our parents can ever imagine.

Stats from Pornhub, a leading online platform for pornographic content show that Nigerian men are the world leaders in searches related to breast size. We’re followed by Finland, Canada, UK, USA, India, Australia, Denmark, Netherlands, and Belgium, in that order. Just typing this, I felt so proud; for the first time ever, we rank alongside first world nations.

Nigerian women are not left behind though. They come in fifth place for search results related to penis size. The world leader is South Africa, followed by the USA, Jamaica, Kenya, and Nigeria.

The point is, Nigerians like it big, anything less than big is just Plan B, apologies to my fellow less-endowed people.

What’s the point of all of this?

• We’re the most sexually active generation Nigeria has seen
• We’re the most religious generation Nigeria has seen
• We’re the most morally bankrupt generation Nigeria has seen

We are a bundle of contradictions, nationally and individually.

We may differ in religious beliefs and moral values, but ‘kongi’ unites us. I believe the more we talk about it, the less the grip it will have over us. The more we can talk about our sexual preferences, straight, queer, bent, missionary, rear entry, side view, cow girl, masochist, extreme, paedophilia (yes, paedophilia; I’m not endorsing it, but we can’t deny there are people who find it appealing), the more understanding we will gain about them, especially those sexual views that do not qualify as mainstream. The more understanding we have of them, the less mysterious the subject of sex will seem to us. When we bring sexual conversations to open forums, it becomes easier to screen what is right and what is wrong, to ensure that people don’t go the wrong places to get the information that they badly need.